Inquires of An Incomplete Soul

I often wonder where me and her might be,
Then I remember letting her go wasn't done so easily,
We were given the gift to align two souls,
With the risk to drive towards two goals,
Selfish endeavors of a young and unwise mind,
Gave us the push to uncoil and unwind,
No time for the blame game when I was guilty,
Forced to hold shame and dirt in my soul leaving me filthy,
I wish to wash myself in the truth of one's past,
Taking the knowledge of our mistakes to create something positive to last,
Then I think to myself why did you care?
What made you ponder at my thoughts, what made you stare?
How did I get to the position to hold a standard to compare?
Subconsciously I wonder if I'm still there?
Do I still hold a place in your thoughts or do I show up in your dreams?
Why do I have to drown in my own sorrow or is that just how it seems?
Why wasn't I ready to explore your world, the escape of my reality?
Why did I need to define the creation of your formality?
Still trying to let you go in hopes that you may return,
Not sure if it really works but I'm eager to learn,
If it was an experiment with love in a lustful environment?
Or does finding the one for you remove the need for love's retirement?

Behind The Melody

I tried to cry yesterday,
Hoping to relieve myself of the memories that refuse to stray,
The moments when I could witness,
Thoughts that make me reminisce but you wouldn't get this,
So misunderstood,
The scenes illustrated behind the melody were always good,
Forced to move on and wishing I could,
Just let go and start something new,
But I'm lost in your spell so I'm forced to subdue,
I defined my once ideal woman in a lustful environment,
Since no one would hire it,
My heart resides on my sleeve before love's retirement,
Incapable of selling out since I'm trying to survive,
The business, but to the meeting I have yet to arrive,
So I'm waiting for the alignment of our hearts,
Hoping that our prior pains are relieved before our new chapter starts,
Maybe our prides will let us show what we once hid,
Engrave in stone what we once did,
Give us the strength to stay focused on the view of one another when one glared,
Allowing our minds to journey together keeping our thoughts simultaneously prepared,
So nothing will interrupt our passion,
Yet we hold strong that's all I'm asking,
May we use each other for grasping,
Love deep definition as hate starts contrasting,
The words we use to put together our melodic song,
So only behind the melody they will see what went wrong...

The Truth Of My Empty Glass

Ingredients to take me on a high, Drowning the pain after I'd fail to try, To release my thoughts from within, Trying to follow my heart but I keep sipping on Gin, I feel the addiction and affliction, Close to overdosing with no prescription, My mind looks for ease but I'm just running from time, Well reality, since I'm paying for the crime, Made a drink with no lime, Vodka has led me to deception, Of the truth of being guilty for conception, With the women in my life, I can't see who is better than the rest, Life's business lesson on how to invest, Tequila tasting just to test, she's cooking to get to my heart, While another was there with Rum at the start, So this one does what she needs to make her mark, If only I could see what this other does in the dark, Then there's the one with that deep, deep, deep scar, Oh how I wish I could find out who you are, Since she hides who she is or who she wants to be, The memories keep her caged but her stories sets her free, A love like war, I want to suit up for the battle, Take a walk through the landmines that make her world rattle, But I'm distracted by this angelic soul, The one I don't think I deserve but will make me feel whole, Or so I believe, wants to make my heart fill relieved, Yet my pride won't let me journey on to be deceived, Takes sips of the Whiskey, I'm not sure if its a front when one says that they miss me, So I give thanks of the admiration, as if it were a dissertation, Although I lack physical emotion so its seen as if I lack appreciation, Oh how I've learned from the past, With the temptations, friendships and things that won't last, Hopefully the next time opportunity decides to walk pass, There's some understanding to the truth of my empty glass,