A Vacation From Reality

At one point in time her kiss took me on the trips,
That would take me on vacations so I would schedule time to meet her lips,
With mine, hoping to escape from reality,
Creating moments of pleasure but caged in a tragedy,

See I wasn't mature enough to see that we shared dreams,
Well she made room for mine but I feared of what may have seemed.
Hopeless, since I was insecure and I didn't think that I was over,
What I had before, but I made time to console her,

Against me, but I thought it was towards another,
I gave ideas and ways for her to hide her love from a lover,
Who had her heart in mind but at the time,
He had prepared to be on his grind, well let's say that I'm,

Trying to tell this story in third person so I won't have to cry,
Since I haven't felt this much pain in years and there's no need to lie,
Tears haven't been down my face from pain since '06's 22nd day of December,
Which I will never forget and always remember,

But back to the one who could create my vacation,
Back to the one who could make me fly with no hesitation,
Back to the one that made hope for all the risks I thought of taking,
And back to the one who created my history in the making,

That same one that I either want to get over and not think of,
Or get back in my life, who showed me the true meaning of love,
Steer me in the direction of a happy ending,
Become the man that I'm supposed to be with no thoughts of pretending,

Take a look into her eyes and read her thoughts,
If she comes around I will teach over what she's been taught,
So that the key to the her heart will be mine to retrieve,
And she no longer has to wear it on her sleeve,

Tattoo a new memory aside from all the ones before me,
This time I will make room for us to grow so her smile doesn't have to look for me,
Because I will live in her heart, listen to her mind, and breathe with her soul.
Kiss her lips hold her close and let my heart be under her control,

Chase away everything that stands in our way,
But to make sure this is meant for me I will pray,
Take an extra push towards this dream to come true,
But if we have to remain friends for you to be in my life then that's what I'll do!

Bullied By Life

Psychologically and physically,

Two ways of fear that were pushed on me,

Looking to retreat from real life but I’m to corrupted mentally,

To the world I’m a young time bomb waiting to explode,

Open with a select few, but to others I seem closed,

In, like there’s no way for me to escape,

To worried about whose real and whose fake,

Trapped in a time where all I want to do is abrogate,

Everything in my sight except my dreams and my fate,

Meaning I can see my future or at least I’m making a description,

In my mind so I stay sane to keep away from that prescription,

That forces me to abdicate any of my good manners,

But I display it like vexiology and I show them like a banner,

Then I’m reminded that I will be refused because of my skin,

Damn life bullied me again into thinking racism was a kin,

Well a friend, but it was in some way,

Since it was cool with hate, hanged with fate and made a visit everyday,

Forced me to show no mercy at times, and to think with a selfish emotion,

Forget my love for many moments and to stray away from devotion,

Lose faith in things I was hoping would one day be something I could choose,

Life gave away some of those I loved to death like an old pair of shoes,

So in exchange Life kept me down, leaving my regular face as a frown,

Too afraid to look up so I tell my smile to look around,

Well mostly at the floor since I really wasn’t sure,

If I grew feelings for another, would my reminisces grow more,

Since Life would often beat me up, and had me thinking I wasn’t good enough,

Life made me insecure with all my actions, so each breathe became tough,

Everyone’s minds are full of lust and many other sins,

Which grows fear into bringing children into the world, guess Life got me again,

Since the children of the future are taught the stories of someone else’s four fathers,

And to some of them the role of a dad won’t be played so no one bothers,

To step into that child’s life and teach them foundation or understanding,

Just hold fault to their lack of guidance, and label them and begin commanding,

That they change their ways from that of what’s displayed,

Which forces them to frown upon change, and takes longer for them to be saved,

So I pose to the future a sacrifice, of my time, energy, and life,

Give up the hopeless dreams of finding a wife,

To become educated and instill upon them what wasn’t free,

Meaning I had to pay debt to a life to live that’s not for me,

Pay homage to those before me for giving me a small taste of something good,

So in return I step back into the hood, not just for a Wedding like in The Wood,

But to help my brothers and sister find value in themselves.

Regain the confidence that they hid away above their shelves,

Push back on society, and take more time just to pray,

Hold truth to everything I do especially what I say,

Since life has me bullied, I give it this message and before I press send,

I guess I will enjoy the climax of my story until my book reaches the end.

A Cold Reminisce

I sit back reading your old messages you sent to me,

In my mind I rewrite my replies in hopes that you could see,

Everytihing I wish I could share with you,

Letting go of the memories is something I can't bare to do,

I shower in my thoughts, drown in my sorrow,

I'm revived with hope, but drifting until tomorrow,

So today I freeze and shiver, still sad to witness,

You're gone without ending words so I live A Cold Reminisce,

Photographic memory but my brain dispays moving art,

So my words surround us and narrates our start,

Until our end, sometimes I see things of what could have been,

Then I step back into reality where I'm far from the win,

But then I get back to dreaming and I impregnate a thought,

Into my own mind, giving birth to something that couldn't be bought,

Raise it until it's fully developed, then share it with everyone,

Each time I write a poem I celebrate a war that's won,

In my head because it sybolizes a completed thought,

So I can reminisce and move on from feelings before they are caught,

Again, making me trapped in this hopeless love affair,

That I seem to close myself into creating moments of despair,

Or I begin rewriting lines that I've used to display my feelings,

My love begins to hurt so its no longer appealiing,

Then I'm left with just myself, four walls, a frown and a pen,

Social networks to display my thoughts so I'm left with a temporary win,

And I don't even reread it after I press publish or create post,

Because my heart remembers the words while my mind plays the host,

To the memories that keep me feeling like this,

Leaving me to just be honest, revealing that I have something to miss,

Something to treasure and praise with glory,

To also reinact and display a story,

Something to help me mature and to grow,

To also prepare me for the cold days of tomorrow,

Still I keep trying to forget the way I feel,

Hoping to make a difference now that's beyond real,

Since my past can't be changed and my future stays untold,

The gifts of my present have my back until I'm old,

Meaning I continue writing since that's my gift,

From God, and my pressent back is to uplift,

So with my words I display it all so I can picture this,

Happiness with you but within the walls of A Cold Reminisce.

I Still Remember Your Dreams

New York I believe it was, the location of your dreams,

Filled with your ambitions and where your art can flow greater than streams,

Big city full of bright lights and someone by your side,

I offered but I needed to prepare for the ride,

Well I had "Greater Intentions" that you knew of but you stayed and were aware,

You slept in my arms while I ran in your dreams, your thoughts I tend to prepare,

Or at least I was a part of some of them,

My problems that occurred but I also shared space with him,

So in turn we stayed friends because we both had someone else on the brain,

And at separate times we could move on and maintain,

But then in some way we both shut each other out,

Not purposely but it held for awhile to do without,

The notion of asking if we were over our ex's and ready,

To move on past our friendship, to grow something steady,

But I hesitated in writing this because I was afraid,

I pushed you away too far but I wish you would have stayed,

So I've confessed but back to the topic at hand,

I remember you felt "Empty" and fulfillment you wouldn't demand,

But you wanted it, just like someone to hold you,

Only lonely nights, and someone to vent and console to,

You wanted things to change within your family, especially your mother,

You wanted a stronger bond, oh and how's your brother,

He should be in high school now, I'm sure he's getting tall,

How's your aunt I hope you did't forget to call,

Sorry I left your dreams and stepped into reality,

Well I wish your dreams would come true that's what I'd rather see,

Still you continue to dream something so bright,

Although you don't see it but I don't take it light,

I'm just afraid to mess up the flow of your dreams,

Little did I know instead I brought together the extremes,

Of the negatives that could have been prevented,

But now I lay thinking of the dreams someone else invented,

I guess in the event of trying to push away the inescapable,

I hurt both of us something I didn't know was capable,

Of, maybe this can be like an epiphany, and we will meet and maintain,

So that this dream I remember can come true and a best friend I'll regain.

The One

Her beauty will be like an inspiration,

Creating many thoughts and an anticipation,

I'm falling for her but she's so far away,

I'm calling for her but in her mind I have no place to stay,

I'm still trying to make an entrance into her heart,

But I have to cross her mind just to start,

She takes over my thoughts, leaving me in shock,

I race for her love hoping on my side lies a clock,

Or two, hopefully eternities' blessing,

If fate will have it she'd find me impressing,

Worth her time, worth introducing me to her world,

Since I'm captivated by her looks and not just the way she twirled,

In her dresses or anything she wears,

Head over heels, frantically walking, or standing on the stairs,

Like a fairy tale, since I know that's what she dreams of,

I'm willing to make sacrifices to experience true love,

Although I did once before, but I found out too late,

Sometime in January but I'd rather not give the date,

For it was after we were over, when I thought we grew closer,

When I became single, and became a true composer,

Of words in a rhyme scheme or this thing we call poetry,

So I reveal it all too bad we split like the group Floetry,

Now I have embarked on a new journey,

Sue me if I'm wrong I'll find an attorney,

I can no longer polish this memory hoping she remembers me,

In every thing I write I take time hoping to rekindle thee,

Hopeless love affair, so confused I stop and stare,

Because I keep putting my mind through moments of despair,

So now that the moments over I let my words move on for me,

Since my mind its trapped like an inception I hold on to her glory,

Now as a sign of hope, I'm convinced I can cope,

Since its happened before new love is a vision for me to scope,

Then the one who I seek interest in feels the same way I do,

Same stories come out and the same fears too,

But then I'm pulled back into the inception,

As I come out, the one I seek questions her selection,

Of me, and if I can be for her and not for my past,

So I know not to force it since that makes a greater task,

With no intentions to lead her on I tell her the truth,

I explain to her my situation upon my youth,

Even though I'm still in it, so she isn't offended,

Understands my situation and knows that my feelings aren't blended,

Realizes that its impossible for me to let go since I genuinely care,

Appreciates the sacrifice for her love, so she just stops and stares,

For she wants to be the one, who's the driver or shotgun,

If we happened to be together for that long ride towards the sun,

Into heaven, where our souls will align forever,

Creating our miracle of love, our accomplished endeavor,

Temptations won't exist, I just remember her kiss,

Her touch, her hug, every moment leads to reminisce,

For it will be that true moment when my soul and her's attract,

When I've found the One, I'll sacrifice it all and that's a fact.

If We Happened To Be Together For That Long Ride

Destination is Heaven, our souls partnered together,

Nothing stands a chance and God leads us through any weather,

We stand as one, but opposites like the moon and the sun,

Still we are synchronously engulfed by our pain and our fun,

Pain breeds pleasure, leaving pleasure to do things we can't measure,

So every moment along the ride we treasure,

I am into you and you are into me, we kiss casually

Our hearts beat at the same time and our minds think simultaneously,

Of thoughts of each other and the things that keep us whole,

The things no one else knows but the things that glue together our souls,

All my likes become apart of things you remember,

Vice versa, so each others hearts we sign up to be a member,

No pretenders, so we buckle up to ensure we ride with precaution,

Meaning, our past are understood, so the present doesn't fear often,

And our future is something out of sight since it shines so bright,

Reflecting the image of two suns, one for the day and one for the night,

So with all this reflection, we need no other selection,

Consequently our lovers before us aren't even an exception,

Because we've pushed together our flaws and aligned it with a strength,

Or two, that no one compares to our length,

Or width, we ride almost inseparable, with a nice perception,

Of life and repeatedly God receives thanks for creating this inception,

But being realistic, if our destination isn't reached together,

Then I'll rewrite our history with ink and feather,

Back to the basics, I will display our love again and again,

Hopefully you will do the same if I were to meet fate's end,

Before you, but that's just keeping it real,

Optimism gets you far but you get further moving forward than standing still,

We start the ignition and let the keys dangle,

I look over to see your smile shine from every angle,

We hear the roaring of the engine, so we think we should begin,

Since we've mapped out where our hearts will end,

Wow, this is crazy because I never expected this,

A nice turn of events after a smile and a kiss,

So glad that I chose you as the one to be by my side,

I thank you now, if we happened to be together for that long ride.

Good and then Bye

Two words I hate saying, to a friend, to my family,

To a lover,to a stranger, even an enemy,

Just the thought of the two together brings pain,

An eerie feeling that I will not proclaim,

I'll shed tears before I say these two words to someone,

My pride will collapse, and self hate will win this one,

I'll vent my entire heart to the world before putting together the words,

The subject of this dismissal will never see my verbs,

Even after four years one month, and 8 days,

7 hours 29 mins she still hasn't heard me say,

GOOD and then BYE together,

She holds a space on my arm where she'll live forever,

To prevent saying the same to my mother,

Her name goes on the center of my chest to hold me, however,

My love for her is a never ending fire,

So a spontaneous combustion may occur if I have to become mire,

Meaning she is the divide that brings tears and high pride,

So much love for her that I can't hide,

That's why I couldn't see me saying the two,

No need to give everything up I won't subdue,

Because once you put together GOOD and then BYE,

The memories fade away leaving tears to cry,

Or if they don't leave, they become blurry,

Making emotions hard to control leaving extra furry,

Writing this my eyes are watering but nothing falls,

Confessions in between but i won't reveal it all,

Just enough to finish my story and walk away,

Mature a bit day by day,

No matter the circumstances,

I thank God for the many chances,

I haven't had to put the two words together,

So I'll say so long and see you later, that sounds better.