Running...

As she inhales deep breathes, she exhales the stress,

Hoping that her misfortunes with wasted time lead to happiness,

Confused with love and not wanting to be alone,

She's trapped between her thoughts and messages from her phone,

Seeking guidance she talks to a friend or two,

Advice is heard but there's nothing they can do,

Family pitches in but she doesn't know where to start,

She just wants to be free without the broken heart,

From a situation that wasn't supposed to happen,

One moment it was pure love, then trust made its reaction,

Her past seems to always be a factor in his mind,

But he didn't seem to notice or care that she began to lose her shine,

Because of him, seeking his approval she began to change her ways,

Her happiness wasn't real and went on for many days,

Weeks, and months, it was a sad thing to see,

For her changes to make him happy made him mad easily,

Overlooking how she did everything around his wishes,

Took on the disrespect and repeated calls of Bitches,

He began to only look at her through the memories of her past,

So of course she realized they wouldn't last,

And in turn she ran away,

Without looking back she took off without a trace,

She took off to fast to let him know the results of his hate,

She took off to fast to let him know her actual fate,

Gone in the wind, she's running,

Quick like lightening but the opposite sound of the thundering,

For ever raining through her eyes, Mary Kay leaves tracks,

Her body is still changing I guess its time to trace back,

To what was going on, and what was untold,

Inside she was dying, leaving no time to get old,

Stress sped up the process, lost love messed up her rest,

Trying to find a cure too late took away her best,

Until finally, she ran in the right direction,

She met someone new and worth the selection,

Someone worth her attention and time spending

Her faith had returned and led on a fairy tale ending,

For now she began to glow and shine,

He existed in flesh and lived in her mind,

She began to get better, sunny days took over her weather,

Forecast, now her smile breeds pleasure,

So happy for my friend her running has finally came to an end,

I hope he stays true to her and doesn't pretend,

For if someone has her running again, I will have to go,

No longer will she run alone I will have to follow...

The Letter

Dear Who It May Concern,

I’m trapped in this 186lb cage,

My mind wants to be free but is overcome with rage,

Temptation gets me almost every time,

I can only be factored by myself and One so I must be prime,

Too deep of a notion to be caught up on my emotions,

But nonetheless I want greater devotions,

So I have “Greater Intentions”,

But I’m doomed by the “Fear of Falling In Love”,

And confused because it’s pure like the white on a dove,

Attracted by “Suicide Girls” but I don’t see it,

Until we grow closer then I don’t want to believe it,

I feel so “Empty”,

That those who want to befriend me don’t call my phone,

Because like myself they “Fear the Unknown”

Sometimes when I wake up I just wish to see “A Winter Wonderland”

But the “Pain In My Life”, destroys its existence, so I don’t give a damn,

Then I’m recollected,

Because “Thoughts When She Crosses My Mind” remind me,

That when I look into her eyes I know “Where I Wanna Be”

I’m no longer “Trying to Understand”,

I just reach out for her hand,

Hoping I can run away with my feelings,

But as a man that shouldn’t be appealing,

So I “Break Down”, because I know my “Mission: Happiness”,

I look for nothing more or nothing less,

I’m over being “Love Sick” so I’m back to my regular tone,

And I speak to the world with “My Rosetta Stone”,

If you haven’t picked up on it yet,

Everything quoted is no ordinary text,

It’s a title of a poem I wrote,

That you may have read at least I hope,

So of course I had to go through a “Self Destruction,

No longer am I “A Mystery In Disguise”, or only about seduction,

For I too want to experience a dream come true,

Not only with falling in love, but “Polishing a Memory” too!

Sincerely,

Mr. Williams

If My Future Had A Child...

One thing that I want to avoid but it may be inevitable in the future... and that's being a father!

Wow, who would've guessed I would have a child on the way,

After all the times of rejection, now one's here to stay,

If have a daughter,There's so much she will need,

I need her to become all she can be from my seed,

Will I become over protective,

With her friends I'll be too selective,

Watch every boy who offers her a toy,

And question her sadness and her joy,

Step back when she needs it, step up when she wants,

Show her the kind of man she deserves, and never try to front,

When she grows up, I hope she gets respect,

May all guys treat her descent and not select,

Can she live all her years without rape,

Go on a descent date,

Grow up without hate,

May God give her a man who will do her right,

Show her he can fight,

For her love,

Show her she's worth being around,

Give her the everything I can't now,

May God guide her on the right path,

With the equations of life educate her math,

Keep her high off life, keep drugs out her sight,

Her ambition isn't to survive but get to the light,

For I know if she has that drive she will be alright,

Well hopefully, but if not I'm willing to fight,

Unless I have a son...

Well I will still fight but some battles I have stand aside,

I just pray he doesn't have issues overcoming his pride,

I hope I can be around to help raise him I know the time he's worth,

No baby momma drama so me and his mom will marry before his birth,

May things work out for the best,

Even if we split I will spend time with him before I rest,

Dedicate my life to helping his, no need for the distance,

Be a better father than mine, for instance,

If I'm close enough to wipe the tears from his face,

No man will STEP in to take my place,

He's my son so I will teach him what's wrong and what's right,

I'll stand in his corner for every type of fight,

Never turn my back on him, and catch him when he falls,

Look up to my son whether he's short or he's tall,

Because I know with my teachings he will be a better man than me,

And I'll say it proudly so even MY PRIDE can clearly see!

Polishing A Memory

I tend to find myself lost in my own thoughts,

Drowning my mind and recreating an old sought,

Of reconstruction, to become comfortable in time,

Polishing a memory and being engulfed by it's shine,

I no longer try to fight the inevitable, nor do I accept it,

I just try justify it's actions when I get the unexpected,

For the the invited moments I embrace them,

So later in time its not hard to trace them,

I think that its too easy to move along if the prior is erased,

We get stronger and stronger as we look the prior in the face,

Laugh and smile and maybe shed a tear,

But there's nothing wrong with keeping it near,

For when its time to move on the next experience it means so much more,

That the idea of it creates an anticipation of what's in store,

Over and over this phase can happen,

Making your desire stronger for grasping,

The true key to your heart, if its not from the start,

Enlisting new instructions and limits to make their mark,

On the next investment of time,

Sacrificing your heart to get a matching pair like two words that rhyme,

But every now and then some memories you have to relive them,

Intentionally you don't forget but you must forgive them,

For an old memory can shine so great compared to the new,

That you want to do the impossible to see if its true,

For you, since its owed to oneself,

To take down that book of memories off of the shelf,

Or in your head, or underneath your bed,

Because you don't know what the future holds and you'll never be prepared.

Self Destruction

Chaotic thoughts, explosions, loud booms,
All this in a quiet room,
The journey of a boy to a man,
Got Damn I need help but know one can lend a hand,
In the still of night I lay alone,
Even if she's by my side and we're in her home,
I'm still rolling solo on my journey,
Praying that there isn't thoughts to burn me,
In the after life...
I've began the process of breaking down,
Explosions and chaos but I'm still in a room where there's no sound,
Traumatic brain injury so there's no saving me,
But God has me, so he has faith me,
Confused from my failures so I write the realest written letter,
To myself since the world wouldn't notice my better,
Well best times, they just criticize my worst,
Laugh at my book of rhymes, and cry next to my Hurst,
Bury my body but remember my image,
This is the beginning of the end so let's start the scrimmage,
Still breaking down with the chaos and no sound,
No tears, one fear, I look up then look around,
He's still watching me and no one else is here,
I'm always alone even when so called friends are near,
Hopefully when I get through the destruction of my temple I'm recreated into something well respected,
An angel in disguise of something unexpected,
So as I write my signature to this letter to myself, I'll leave one drop of blood on the page,
To remind myself of something else from the heart, when I finished acting out in rage...

She Gives Me Power

Conquering all, but I feel so small,

But when she flows through my system I feel so tall,

Not physically, but mentally,

Spiritual strength, guess its meant for me,

She gave me power...

I can't control her, but I get hotter,

So I cool off with understanding but I can't stop her,

So powerful so it can't be the strength of a man,

And she got me looking right like she pitched from the left stands,

Her touch has me tense,

Relaxed and convinced,

She's so sweet like Mary Jane,

Given a double meaning I can't complain,

Got me high off her aroma,

Hungry enough to want to roam her,

With my tongue, well my mouth to feed my mind,

Non-sexually but I hope she comes on time,

When I'm feeling down she comes around,

Not too close but I hear her sound,

When I'm happy I feel her in my veins,

Like a drug she proclaims,

My actions and satisfactions, until I am rapping,

And tapping up a rhyme scheme and an audience is clapping...

I have to take a deep breathe,

Who or what am I chasing,

Who or what has my mind racing,

I remember now,

I can only describe the sound,

I can only describe the scenery around,

Because it hasn't happened yet, at least I hope,

My dreams I mean, but if not I will need the strength to cope...

I Wasn't Invited Yet (Hard Ball)

Wow... I'm sweating her and she hasn't even invited me to play,

Got me watching competition and coming short on things to say,

I just walked in the gym where she has her own team,

She's out of my league and my fascination isn't matching my dream,

My dreams seem impossible the way her defense plays the game,

My two's fall over the rim and my three's do the same,

The only shots I've made around her were free throws,

Well foul shots I hope she doesn't think I'm weak though,

Hopefully I won't miss her next try out, and its over in my house,

I need the home court advantage, taking shots to become her spouse,

Well that's the grand scheme like the Nba playoffs,

Marriage would be the championship but that means no days off,

So many games until then so I have to take it slow,

Damn I'm crushing hard so it must be clear and shows,

Now I have to play it cool, don't be taken for a fool,

Play pro ball unlike the games played in high school,

Wow... She got me sweating and I wasn't even invited to play,

Hooping shorts, jordans and t-shirt are on maybe I can be invited sometime today.