The Poet In Disguise

I'm the poet in disiguise,
Running from pain, ignoring the lies,
Using my words as a way to lay in the skies,
And sentencing myself life without tears so I have dry cries,

Almost four years since water has ran down my face,
Well at least from my eyes because sweat takes the place,
Sleepless nights, enraged days, too much time I done waste,
With memories locking me in time, but I still tend to trace,

Every moment with her, from the good to the bad,
To the role of being her grandson to taking the roles of my dad,
Every moment we've had,
I've cherished it... and wished we shared our last,

No longer myself, I use an escape goat just for stealth,
Basketball was my ticket until problems with health,
Then it was again until I took the journey to wealth,
Spent all my money and was left with myself,

Ashamed so I ran away from myself again,
So many good memories I just tried to pretend,
But reality is too real so thats where dreaming begins,
And more time out of my home and more time with friends,

Comfortable with the new setting, everyone seems inviting,
They have easy issues so advice I began providing,
At the end of the night sleep gets them but my eyes and lids are not colliding,
Now I'm back to myself, and to my heart beat, I'm writing,

The words on the page flow without definition,
Their arrangement is chilled but high with ambition,
So read them out loud and only myself is there to listen,
So I leave my dreams in the past and move myself to the kitchen,

Finished what I wrote, read aloud my order of quotes,
Logged onto facebook to write a new note,
A few friends are online and see my new post,
And leave comments without the laughs and the jokes,

I have a new way to run but sit still,
Less time and effort is put in, with no hospital bill,
No more ER rooms for me, at least going with my will,
So now friends are telling me beats I should kill,

Instrumentals make the aria to my words,
My life take the place of nouns and verbs,
Pronouns and adjectives are even sometimes heard,
But never do I say suicidal thoughts because that's absurd,

No worries never had any of those, just confusions on the roles,
To play, in the fronting of life and how it goes,
On without you knowing how I feel you just react to my clothes,
Or whats on my outside but who i am, no one ask, or even knows.

From Africa to Me

Mentally exploring the world but physically I rest on this continent,
Shocked and appalled but I still stand content.
I see her smile from the distance of 4,000 miles
But I'm too shy to travel so I remember the colors of her style
Feelin like a child not able to contain
My inner thoughts that seem to have traps on my brain
I feel the ore of her beauty
So natural so I truly
Am caught up in her essence,
She got me searching for every second
Of time with this African beauty, and experience natures lessons

She becomes more than I desire,
Spreading vast like a fire,
Looking for a job in her love and I hope she wants to hire
To disgusted with my culture but she knows I am just a product,
Of my environment and that is how I come up,
Or came up but in her eyes I show shame of,
African men although my ways are american,
I still have choice to decide who I am
So her beauty changes my mind,
Not her breast or behind
Her intelligence has lift me to change the future of mine

Be all I can be
But not like the army,
Stand strong and don't let my past scare me,
Become the change in which we wish to see,
Or I want to see, that we can be,
Physically, pschologically and spiritually free,
And stand more in content,
Trace my roots and decent,
Become the holder of my mind and intelligence!
Free my brothers and sisters who are trapped in this life with me,
So I take on this positive path because I guess it is my destiny.

Rough cut of Confessions of a man

Mystery In Desquise

My eyes are wide open,

Capturing all the colors and still notions,

My greater intentions are still for greater devotions,

But they've become spread out in this world shaped ocean.

So I close my eyes to see what happens next,

Is there something greater, is this just a test,

I think this is right or at least I feel it in my chest,

Never mind that was the vibration of my phone, I just got a text,

Or at least I thought it was my phone,

But I look at it to see that it’s on loud to express a tone,

Feeling so confused so I need to roam,

And clear my head of the message that is not shown.

A mystery in disguise, I look up in the sky,

Aligned stars show a direction in which I should try,

To distraught from my feelings inside,

But I still follow this universal guide.

Contemplating all alone, looking for this place,

If only I knew where I was going O the decisions I'd make,

Satisfaction or demise I don't know if I can take,

Another disappointment, WHERE is this place I tend to race,

To, giving me these fanatical contemplations,

Hopefully it’s an escort to some greater creation,

Full of satisfaction and no misinterpretation,

Still I’m full of dedication to this unknown destination.

Patiently waiting, this path I’m still pacing,

Tasting the sweet air of what I thought I was tracing,

Dreaming too big for this implication I’m chasing,

That I forgot I wasn’t keeping track of the time I was wasting,

So I take a break from the race for a chance to blink,

Maybe this path wasn’t for me maybe its some thoughts from a drink,

But I look further along the path and I see something pink,

It was just an image of my inside telling me always to think.

Trying to Understand

Anticipations got my mind racing,
Creating hesitations and got my heart pacing.
Changing gears within this addiction chasing,
Leaving no time for thought tracing.

Decisions are done without thinking,
Made moves to fast for blinking,
Got me on a pride ship that’s sinking,
Now my heart is in this without the drinking.

Real feelings generate growing emotions,
Immediately I’m compiling thoughts of greater devotions.
Life after the last dance and the formed notions,
And thanks to Cupid since I was the one chosen.

Existing without consideration to believe,
Penetrating and left me just enough time to receive.
Bequeathed love lacking obligation to retrieve,
In hopes to deliver so I won’t deceive.

So I picture her as success,
When she’s around she’s the one I want to impress.
Enrolled in the school of love to become the best,
Leaving her nothing but smiles and never settling for less.

Almost there so I know I will make it.
Feelings are too far in rage to fake it.
Hoping it will happen so my photographic memory can take it,
But it came to an end to fast to before she gave it.

Now I sit alone trying to understand,
What makes me so different from this other man?
He pretends love and rejects you hand,
While I step up with hopes to include you in my life plan.

Although I’m entertained by the chase,
I want to consume your love from just that small taste.
Rejection I’ve prepared for such a case,
Cause in the game of love there’s really no time to waste.

Time and stupid decisions set us apart,
The first chance I had I should’ve been smart.
Now I stand here holding my heart,
While watching your ride without me take its depart.

Empty

I closed my eyes to take a look inside myself,

Only to see the trap tears I would use to cry out for help.

Leaving my body to act out in stealth,

Wondering why I couldn’t be born into wealth.

I mean maybe there’s still a chance my love can be bought,

Or a better understanding of me can be taught.

Changing my own perspective of myself from my thoughts,

And then just maybe I can be made out for sought.

Surrounded by others at times but still I feel alone,

Feeling like I’m only excepted if somebody thinks I’m worth being owned.

Every now and then someone might call my phone,

But still to world I’m unknown.

So out comes another thought of mine,

But maybe I’m wasting time to shine.

My internal light is becoming dull unfortunate of mine,

Well I or me, and still I add to the list online.

Many moments past when I’m feeling forgotten,

And inside this race I feel like stopping.

My pride is shot but never rotten,

So I stand strong so I’m not weak like cotton.

So I look inside myself again,

Hoping that one day when I’m out I don’t have to pretend.

Until then I hold my pride close as if it was my friend,

Maybe my emptiness will fill up before the end.

A Winter Wonderland

Soft fluffy flakes, trap me so I can't escape,
Or venture into the world that seems to be so great.
A white blanket lays outside my window,
Leaving not a trace of another color to glow.

Silently taking over, while mishaps occurs over my shoulder,
Only growing stranger as I get older.
Emergency closing tries to make me smile,
But now it only makes me worry since I'm not a child.

Why so severe of something so clear,
Well white but it shouldn't bring no fear.
Its not BLACK and thats a fact,
Darkness was the trap, now theres no color for that.

And yet so effortlessly as we can see,
We've been thrown inside to watch the WHITE surround thee.
Freezing water, stopping electricity, and hurting everything in its vicinity,
But at the same time it works magnificently.

To cause destruction and corruption, and a mental abduction,
Changing our facial expressions and the topic of discussion.
Wow its crazy... i wish they could talk,
With so much influence I wish they could walk

Say words about the places where they land,
Or discuss topics of importance, I'm just sayin.
I wish everyone would talk about WORLD HUNGER the same way,
OR World Peace, or war in the middle East. or the next football game play.

Shaking my head at our ignorance,
But I wanna scream out words of belligerence.
Let it snow... tru tru I'm wit it
Well thats all for now i gotta go shovel this ish...